Gangster Names
by Meohy
Summary: Mello tells Matt his embarrassing new pet name assigned by the mafia, and Matt, promising not to laugh, betrays the blonde's wishes. So, has Matt ordered his premature death?


With the air conditioner busted and windows open, offering the occasional breeze, Matt spent the summer afternoon inside, avoiding the outdoors as usual.

Trying to keep cool, he was dressed only in baggy green cargo shorts and knee-high striped socks. He'd even spent the entire morning with his head in the fridge. But exhausting the heating and cooling bill, Matt moved onto other means of entertainment. He spent the remainder of the afternoon in a bathtub filled with cold water and ice, playing his PSP.

When the cloudless blue afternoon faded into a dark blue and purple evening, Matt decided it was cool enough now to play _Dance Dance Revolution_ on Expert until Mello came home. Matt had worked up a sweat by the time he walked through the door. "Hey!" The gamer hopped off the dance pad and joined his leather-clad (which Matt didn't understand how he could wear that in the summer and not die of heat exhaustion) boyfriend on the sofa. "How was work with the mafia today?"

The blonde's eye twitched, and Matt's grin faltered. "What happened?" He asked worriedly after Mello just continued to stare wordlessly into space. "Yo, Earth to Mello!" Matt waved his hand in front of vacant cerulean eyes. "You okay, Melly-jelly?"

Mello snapped out of his trance. "Don't call me that!"

"Gotcha!" Matt smirked, crossing his arms. "Now tell me what's up."

"Well, on the subject of bad nicknames, those moronic goons in the mafia decided to give me a little pet name of their own…"

"That sounds fun. What is it?"

Mello didn't answer, just started ahead with a horrified expression.

Matt whacked his arm playfully. "Oh, so is this one of those top secret things that would jeopardize my wellbeing if I knew it?"

"Yes." Cerulean eyes narrowed. "If I told you I would have to kill you."

"Pleeese?" Matt clasped his hands together and gave Mello a full-blast of large puppy dog eyes. "Who do I have to tell? Can't Melly-jelly tell his Matty-watty what his new nickname is—his gangster codename?

Mello didn't look amused. "Enough with the cheesy-ass variations of our names, they're annoying as hell!"

Matt coughed. "Yeah…I think I'm suffering from dehydration. That's what I get for actually trying to exercise today…"

"Yeah. What'd you do today? I see you've cleaned up a little…"

"Nice try. I'm not letting his go. What's your gangster name?"

"I swear I'll kick your ass to the curb if you laugh…" Mello warned, his eyes flashing.

"Try me." Matt shifted so he was leaning forward expectantly.

Mello took a deep breath. "They call me…Pimptastic Love."

Initially, Matt's face was blank. Then, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, a calculating look in his eyes.

"What?"

Matt nodded approvingly. "I like it. Totally suits you…" His eyes shown with an amusement that Mello didn't like. "…could you give me a sec?" A smile spread across the redhead's face.

"Um, sure…"

Matt ran to the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and cackled insanely.

Mello banged against the door furiously. "You said you wouldn't laugh, asshole! Open this door, I'm gonna kick your ass! Do you hear me? You're on the street from now on, Jeevas! Open up! Quit laughing, you lying bastard!"

Matt only laughed harder. "PIMPTASTIC LOVE! That's fuckin' awesome. Greatest thing I've ever heard…Mello, you're a pimp! HAHAHAHAHA…I love it! It's EPIC. Pimptastic Love is your friggen gangster name…_PIMPTASTIC LOVE!_"

Mello had heard enough. Whipping out his handgun named Ghirardelli, he shot the lock to the bathroom door and hauled Matt's hysterical form to the street curb. "Stay. You don't get to come back unless I get an apology and some expensive chocolate. Until them, Matty, enjoy a homeless existence."

Mello tossed his hair over his shoulder in a huff as he disposed of Matt, and stormed back into their shabby apartment building. Grinning, Matt turned to a nearby hobo, who had been cautiously watching the scene between the two boys, fearing the blonde with the gun. Still cracking up, Matt managed to explain: "My boyfriend's a pimp."

Matt knew Mello couldn't stay mad at him for long. So he chilled with the hobo outside their apartment for a good half hour, then, sure Mello had cooled off, Matt climbed the fire escape, and tapped on their window. Through the glass, he saw the blonde's eyes widen as he approached.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mello joined Matt on the fire escape.

"Apologizing." Matt clasped his hands behind his back seriously. "Look, I'm sorry, Mello. I shouldn't've—"

"Whatever. I don't care anymore. You're forgiven."

"Really? It was that easy?" Mello nodded, and caught Matt as he suddenly leaped into his arms. "Yay!"

"Yeah, whatever, where's my chocolate?"

Matt leaned in and planted a quick kiss on Mello's lips. "Getting it in the morning?"

Mello sighed disappointedly. "Figures." Matt kissed Mello again, longer this time. When the redhead pulled back, Mello was grinning. "Okay, okay, I'll wait. But only if I get more of that action…"

"Quickly dissipated grudges. You know, Mello, that isn't very pimp of you…"

"Shut up, Pimptastico Slick!" Mello harrumphed, shoving Matt away and heading back into their apartment.

Ducking through the window, Matt followed Mello to the kitchen. "Pimptastico Slick? That's awesome! Is that _my_ gangster name?"

"No, it can't be. You like it."

"You have to call me that from now on."

"I refuse." Mello sat at their kitchen table and sipped some chocolate milk.

"You're mad. Can't we kiss and make up again?"

"You're sleeping on the couch."

Matt hopped on a counter adjacent to the table. "Come on, where's your Pimptastic Love?"

"I should've never told you that."

"Oh, I'm glad you did."

"I haven't changed my mind. The couch has your name written all over it."

"Can chocolate fix this situation?" Matt pleaded.

Mello smirked, and Matt knew he'd won. Mello never could stay mad at his damn adorable redhead. "Drug store's down the street. Run fast."

Matt waited until he was closing the front door behind him to say, "Congratulations. Now you're acting like a hardcore gangster with a pimpin' name."


End file.
